When I came to Discipleship Training School (DTS) I was angry and bitter and although life wasn’t easy that way, it was the way I chose to live. Why? Because that meant I only had to think about myself. But the thoughts I had about myself stunk, quite frankly. I had low self-worth when I came to my DTS and saw no need to fight for anything different. Apathy was easy, even if it was draining the life out of me.
Just like any other senior in high-school I assumed that college was the right path for me. I began to talk to some schools, but commitment was never in the air. Then everything changed when my dad reminded me of a statement I made as a thirteen year-old. It was during a mission trip presentation at my church when I turned and said to my dad, “I want to do that.” The girl sharing about missions was my Sunday school teacher and she had just come back from a trip with Youth With A Mission.
The path I took was to Louisville, Kentucky, to be a student in the Fall DTS and I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
Long story short I went against the current that the rest of my graduating class was going and decided to go to YWAM. It wasn’t easy. Their lives looked so much easier than mine. The path I was walking on seemed to lead to a dead end full of questions and uncertainties. The path I took was to Louisville, Kentucky, to be a student in the Fall DTS and I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
When I arrived at my Discipleship Training School I was hit hard by culture shock. A Jesus culture I wasn’t used to. A culture that prayed for each other, shared openly and admitted their faults. A culture that went hard after Jesus, pursuing him and making him first in their lives. My classmates weren’t perfect; in fact they were broken, just like I was. Slowly I started to blend in with those around me. But I was still missing something, something I couldn’t grasp.
My classmates weren’t perfect; in fact they were broken, just like I was.
Then everything changed. For the first time in my life I heard how God made me individually. I heard how he treasured me, hoped for me and had never left me. It wasn’t directed towards our class or our community as a whole, it was in a private prayer time just for me. Then I heard about another plan for my life – the devils. He desired me to be full of self-hatred and have a hard heart, constantly building walls up to keep love out. I had a choice. I could either live a life believing the truth or stay in the darkness I had become accustomed to.
I didn’t know how to live any other way. Emptiness and self-preservation seemed to be my way of life, could it really be that easy to live another way? What if this was all made up, that God didn’t really call me beautiful? But I took the first step towards a life full of more freedom I could have ever imagined.
I now live a Jesus culture kind of life because I don’t know any other way. I learned that it wasn’t the program that changed me, but the God who inspired the program who transformed me . Discipleship Training School was the platform I needed to grow in my relationship with God. It provided me with biblical teaching, a mentor who cared for me and friendships I’m confident I’ll have the rest of my life.
My life was ruined in DTS.
My life was ruined in DTS. Ruined to the point that sometimes I have a hard time remembering what it was like to live the way I used to. How freeing it has been to be ruined for the ordinary. To live life not always knowing my next step, but knowing I’m facing the direction I’m called to go. It’s freeing to live a broken, undone, ruined sort of life knowing that it’s God who holds me together. How freeing it has been to be ruined by the worlds standards and to be made new by the Lords!
Molly did her Discipleship Training School in the fall of 2011 and has been changed ever since. She is now on staff with us and currently works in our Social Media Department. In the summer you can find her leading games and coordinating fun for our Short Term Outreaches. Read more about Molly at her personal blog by clicking here.