A guest post from one of our YWAM DTS students, Haley.
Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I lived the way I wanted to just one year ago.
If I had started my second year of college this past fall instead of doing a YWAM Discipleship Training School. If I kept living life for me. If I had continued the lifestyle I was living. Do I miss it, miss feeling lost in life? Miss wondering what my purpose is? I can’t say that I never miss certain parts of living for myself. But I can say I don’t miss what my life used to leave me feeling like.
While my life seemed great on the outside, I was the opposite on the inside.
My life wasn’t horrible; it had it’s own perks. For one, it was pretty normal. I was a freshman in college, going to school like you’re supposed to after high school. I had friends and a boyfriend. What more could I want?
While my life seemed great on the outside, I was the opposite on the inside. But I sucked it up and acted like my life was perfect. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do? Just pretend like you have it all together; that way no one can see you struggle.
I had a life plan, despite how lost I was. I was planning on getting through college and graduating after 4 years. My degree would get me a great career that I loved while making tons of money. I’d get married and eventually have 4-5 children and be one of the few families that don’t end up divorced. Looking back on this timeline of how my life was going to go, I giggle a little. I lived so much for myself and for my future!
But that all changed on September 24, 2014. I spent three months doing a Discipleship Training School through YWAM Louisville. My life is so much more than the plan I made. My life? I don’t deserve this life. This is Jesus’ life that he gave me when he was nailed to the cross. He died for my sins. He died for ME.
I’m not living to see what I can get out of this life. Is there a trophy when I die to see how much I can gain from this life while I live for myself? I must have missed that story in the Bible… I live for HIM. I live to fulfill what God has called me to do. I live to share the love of Christ. To be an example of who Christ is. I willingly give up “my” life and give it to Christ.
I live to fulfill what God has called me to do. I live to share the love of Christ.
I’ll be honest: this life isn’t that easy. I constantly surrender my own life to Him. Every day.
It’s been amazing to see Haley transform as God works in her life. Originally from Michigan, Haley brings laughter, friendship and an amazing testimony to our community. She’s excited to be heading to South Africa for outreach. Visit her blog to see what DTS has been like for her.